My Personal Constitution

It was a pleasant evening and I got my new car and wanted to surprise my bestie, Nikki by giving a surprise visit to her place.  Though I already knew she will be at home, I called and confirmed it without letting her know about my surprise visit. 

Nikki is my one and only best friend. She is going to be really surprised when she sees me. I love her so much and I'm really excited to see her reaction. Thinking all this, I started to her place.

I reached her house and with all excitement, I knocked her house door. Nikkis mom opened the door and invited me inside. To my surprise,  Nikki was not at home. Aunty started asking me where Nikki was as she left her home yesterday saying that she is going to stay at my place.

I was shocked!!!

What do you do when something like this happens ?

When someone lies to you or makes a mistake, how do you take it ?

Nikki was your friend here. What if it was some stranger, how do you judge that person ?

Are you going to judge her ?

Are you going to tell her mom that she lied ? 

Are you going to stop talking to her ?

Are you going to feel tensed about her ?

Are you going to call and become reactive ?

First of all, what is your constitution ?

On what basis, is your reaction dependent on ?

At your funeral, How do you want Nikki to feel about you ? 

If it was me, I would want her to remember the pleasant memories with deep meaningful conversations that we had together. I would want her to remember the times that she came to me with her problems and concerns. I would want her to consider me as a person who was always there to listen to her. Most of all, I just want her to know that I loved her enough to accept her the way she was. 

But we get stuck in the day to day short term happenings and start over reacting. What actually matters get buried deep inside showcasing the anger, reactiveness outside. 

Be self aware of what you want to be. How you want to script yourself in harmony with the values that you give in life. Try to tie yourself to the limitless potential rather than a limiting past.

A simple answer for these questions is to build your own constitution through which your attitude and behaviour flows in harmony with the deepest values and principles that you want to follow.

Here is how I have built MY OWN CONSTITUTION:

Ask the below questions to yourself first

What kind of person am I ? Am I a family centric person ? Am I a flattery centric person ? Am I a person centric person ? Am I a social centric person ? or Am I a money centric person ?

Family Centric Person - In every decision I take, I only think about my family. I can do anything to make my family happy and comfortable. And any new thing that I do, I do it for my family

Flattery Centric Person - Appreciate me, I'm at your service. I can do anything for the appreciation. And any new thing that I do, is for the appreciation.

Person Centric Person - I can do anything for XXXX. I just want that person to always love me. All my life is going to be for XXXX.

Social Centric Person - I want my friends to accept me and I can do anything for them. I can leave my parents and chill with them and be an important person in the gang.

Money Centric Person - I can do anything for money. I can kill people or leave everyone to earn money.

All the above said personalities, lets you acknowledge only one set of people or one side of the situation and leave the rest in life. How you want others to feel about you determines your personality. 

There is an other special personality which lets you build your own unique one that just suits your life and goals you have set. It is the principle centric personality.

Principle Centric Person - I live by a certain principle. I narrow down my life to follow and live my life with this principle. 

For example: My principle is to have a genuine heart to be trust worthy person and listen to anyone who come into my life. 

To be a principle centric person, decide on your character, process and product. This is the first step that helps you write your own constitution.

Character is how you want to be.

Process is how you want to build your life.

Product is what you want to be. 

Ask the below questions and answer them:

1. Who are you ? Who you want to become ?

2. What is your biggest strength ? 

3. What is your long term goal ?

4. What you want your legacy to be ?

5. What kind of mark you want to leave in the world ?

6. Imagine, How do you want to see your life at the end of your career path ?

7. What quality makes you exceptional when compared to others ?

8. Now, describe in one sentence what are you and what is your purpose ?

Here is mine:

Note: These answers are just an example that would help you to write your own constitution. Few of the answers here might be an exaggeration to the reality. So, treat them as just examples.

1. Who are you ? Who you want to become ?

I'm a Software Developer. I would want to server and provide opportunities to all the deserved people.

Being a women, I would want to support girl education and remove traditions that affect that.

2. What is your biggest strength ? 

My biggest strength is my drive to explore new stuff and my understandable nature.

3. What is your long term goal ?

My biggest goal is to be in a position to provide employment opportunities to all the deserved people. Improve the quality of living and serve my nation. I would like to be in a position to inspire and encourage everyone with positivity. More than happiness, I would want to live my life with peace.

4. What you want your legacy to be ?

I would want my next generation to carry the family values, integrity, empathetic and spiritual person that I see within me.

5. Imagine, How do you want to see your life at the end of your career path ?

At the end of my career, I want to be a leader providing employment opportunities  and I would want to be a loyal, disciplined, integral person and teach my kids and their generation all the things that I have learnt through my personal and professional experience.

6. What quality makes you exceptional when compared to others ?

Whenever a task is given to me, I put all my heart to complete it.

When I listen, I try to be in their shoe and listen to understand and not get carried away by my own personality or past experiences.

And I rarely judge people. 

7. What is most important to you ?

My most important things are my relationships, family, service and spirituality.

Relations first and everything next - which is my fathers legacy and my most important thing.

8. Now try to write what all you want and be in life. This would be your constitution

Here comes my constitution:

To be an instrument of positive change and encouragement in my family, my work and my community and be a leader and provide opportunities for the deserved people that improves the lives of others. To choose ethical ways by making a personal commitment to honesty and integrity. To find peace within myself take the energy to utilise in the betterment of others. To be a non-judgemental, empathetic trustworthy leader. To utilise all my talents for making my home a loving and calm place and work, a cheerful and productive workplace and help everyone to contribute for the growth of the community. To respect everyones opinion and value all the relationships.  

9. Now, describe in one sentence what are you and what is your purpose ?

This would be my Personal Mission Statement:

My mission is to live with integrity ,encourage others to believe in possibilities, provide opportunities to the deserved and also contribute for the welfare of the society and create a peaceful place for everyone without any differences.

Try building your constitution, so that you will have a clarity on the decisions that you make. When something happens, you don't have to look through everything, your choices get narrowed down to your principles in your constitution. As you grow, keep updating your constitution.

What is yours ? 

Comment below, if you would like to share 

Note: What I noticed is, we all have one or the other principle we live by. I have seen my friends living most of the times following their principle they have in life but were forgotten during the peak times. So, have clarity on your principles, constitution and mission written specifically for your life, write it down to understand it better and have a clear and happy life😉