A journey - A real story

I know her since ages but today I met a different person in her. Just a small conversation made me ask questions about her life and I got to know many things from this.

Let me name her as Gowri. So, Gowri was the eldest daughter among her 6 siblings who were born to a carpenter in a small village in India. Since her birth, she grew up with so many responsibilities. She used to help her parents with house hold works and also with carpentry work. She went to school for few years but later she had to drop off as her mother hard time taking care of rest of the kids. 

With the interest on studies, she completed reading a book (pedda bala shiksha) which was once considered as the book of knowledge in India. The way she completed reading it shows her interest towards studies. As they were really poor, they did not have electricity at home. She considered street light as her source of light. But an other clause here was, they neither had electricity nor tube lights on streets. It was the oil lamps lit by government as street lights under which she studied when the village was sleeping. 

I always felt that I was determined towards my education but I seriously wonder if I ever loved my education the way Gowri loved hers. With the wounds from the carpentry work and her responsibilities to take care of her younger siblings, at the age of 10-13, she had the determination to study. Hats off to her.

Things were going as usual in her life until her aunt visited their place one day. She came there to invite them for her daughters marriage which was going to take place in 15 days. She was a far relative to Gowri but she specially invited Gowri to come along with her to help her with the arrangements. Gowri with a big smile agreed for it happily. 

This turned Gowri's life completely. At least, if her parents would have stopped her, things might have been quite different. Gowri was 13 when she left to her aunts place. Gowri with all the excitement tried helping her aunt. After two days, suddenly her aunt started showing special care on her. She was gifted with new clothes and all the celebration has began around her. Suddenly, on the other day, her aunt brought an other invitation card which had Gowri weds Satish written on the card. Satish was Gowris aunts 2nd son. Gowri didn't know what to do. She cried asking for her parents and she was beaten by her aunt for crying. On the day before the wedding, Gowri was married to Satish. 

The next day, Gowri's parents came to attend the wedding and were shocked with the news. Their poverty did not allow them to tell anything but their uncontrollable tears showed their affection on her. Their loving, intelligent daughter was married to a deaf lung failure person who was around 25-30 years. Yes, Satish was deaf and he had a lung failure. As Hindus believe in one time marriage for one life time, her parents with broken heart left Gowri there and left the place.

Just assume how the pair was. Gowri was 13 and Satish was 25-30 years. She was tiny and he was huge. When I asked Gowri about her life, she says,  "I was married at the age when I didn't even know what marriage was. I gave birth to my first child at the age of 15 and I had 5 kids by the time I was 21. Until my second born, I didn't even know why I need to stay with my husband nor what marriage life is about. I used to play with toys and used to dislike my husband as everyone wanted me to stay with him all the time. After my second born, my husband had a serious illness which actually made me to take care of him in all the ways. This is when I realised what my responsibilities are." Gowri had a hard time taking care of her children. It was like a child taking care of an other child. With all these responsibilities at that tender age, She started suffering with severe fits since the age of 22.

Tears started rolling out of my eyes when she said she had 5 kids at the age of 21 and didn't know what marriage life is about. With a deaf husband and with 5 kids, she moved from her aunts place to an other city and started next part of her life. Neither Satish nor Gowri had money to start their life. Gowri took help from her father and opened a small shop in that village. Everyday, she used to prepare atlu (Dosas) and used to sell them. She learnt knitting and stitching and made it as a livelihood too. Seeing her strength, Sathish started loving her even more. He took really good care of Gowri. For 25 years, she took care of her husband and her kids and managed her family with the money she got from stitching and from that small shop they had.

Stitching seems an easy word but with with the machinery that we have in India, it was hard thing to make it as a livelihood. For 25 years, she stitched clothes for 8 hours each day. Just imagine, how badly her legs used to be hurt.

As she knew, education is the weapon to most of the issues, she made all her children study well and now all her children are well educated and well settled. 

When I asked her, why she did not leave Satish, she said, "Marriage is the most respected bond in Indian culture. I never had a thought to leave Satish as my traditions were so into my blood but I felt like quitting this life. But my kids, they are my world. How can a mother leave their kids ? Love on them and to give them the best life made me live. I loved my husband too. But society has given me a hard time. Criticism from them and being in a situation with no help has made me a stronger women than ever."

Gowri is 60 years now. Her husband died few years back. She stopped stitching 5 years ago and she stopped taking care of the shop 2 years back. Now, her children and grand children takes good care of her. Unlike the typical mother in laws, she takes good care of  her daughter in laws. Everyone love and respect her so much. She says this love is stronger than any string in life and she says that peaceful time has already started in her life. Seeds once sown have become fruits now.

Her life story is an inspiration. She says her education until the age of 13 has given her the knowledge to lead the life. And the problems she has faced in life has given her the strength to stay rightful no matter what.  If given a chance, she wants to stop the child marriages that are still happening in India. Hats off to Gowri. I wish her a happy and peaceful life from now on.