A paradigm shift!

One day, I went to a Chapel nearby and was reciting my favourite chapter in the Bible. At that moment, a well dressed lady entered the Chapel with her two children.  All of a sudden, the silence that I was anticipating there is all gone. The children were so loud and they instantly changed the climate. They even started disturbing the people in the chapel. That lady sat in the last row of the chapel and started looking into her phone.  She didn’t do anything to stop the children. It was obvious to see everyone in the Chapel irritated and It was even more difficult for me to not get irritated. I became furious and went to that lady and yelled at her saying, “Ma’am, could you try controlling your children once. They are disturbing a lot of people here."

That lady with a jerk came out from her phone and said softly, “Pardon me for the disturbance they are causing Ma'am. Actually, we just came from the hospital where their father died. I don’t know what to think and I think they are unable to handle it either.”

I was just stuck and didn’t know what to do. All my irritation got vanished and my thought process has suddenly shifted. I just did everything differently. I stopped worrying about controlling my anger now. My heart just melted with the women’s pain. 

I came in to my conscious and apologised her and asked her the ways that I can help her.

See, how this unexpected thing has changed my process of thinking.

Most of the times, when we enter a new phase or role in life or meet certain set of people, we often try to change our attitude and behaviour to be part of them. And not to be that odd one out. We often spend days, weeks, months and even years working on changing our attitude and behaviour. But a sudden crisis something related to life or an unexpected thing changes our way of think in an instinct without even taking a day.

When we enter a new phase or meet a new set of people, we often try to concentrate and change our attitude and behaviour towards it rather than focusing on the root part from where those two have evolved. We partially succeed in changing our attitude and behaviour for a short period of time but in order to change something in a long term, we should focus on the root from where these attitude and behaviour has evolved. 

The root would be our process of thinking which was emerged from the people we met and the experiences we had in the past. Often there is the reality and the way we want the reality to be. Our process of thinking forms our attitude and behaviour and often tend to see the situation as we anticipate replacing the reality.

When we become aware of our thought process, we take the responsibility of those thoughts and examine the reasons, past experiences, friends that have influenced us in building that process. This is the root from which our attitude or behaviour evolves.

When you disagree with a person, we often come to a conclusion that the other person is wrong. Instead, look through their unique lens of experience and improve your paradigm.

This increases our acceptance level.

This reduces the judgemental nature towards others.

 

Moral: Improve your paradigm not your attitude or behaviour.